What's the point in life? We are here to build ourselves up only to die shortly. We grow relationships with people only to watch them eventually die. The longer you live the more death that you see.
I used to think that becoming successful was going to be great, but I did that and everyone I knew that may have been impressed already were gone. I think about all the ambition and my reasons for doing the things that I've done, and none of it makes sense.
All I have is money, My friends wife told me once I'd die a lonely man, and she was right. I look around me, and I see a world without reason, I see a world without laughter. My top 10 people of all time are dead or gone.
When I was poor I thought money would solve all my problems, but the pursuit of money wasted the precious time I had with the people that left too soon.
I've watched vultures come into my life looking for a better life, I sold my business for 14.2 million dollars in March of 2018, and didn't tell anyone. In fact, I told everyone my business failed just to see who would stay, and who would walk away. Everyone walked away, because they were there for the money.
In the 3 years since I invested the money, and ignored the money it's more than tripled. I have nobody to tell this to, because there is nobody I trust.
I doubt if anyone will ever see this, but I wanted to put it out there because I'm battling the C19 Virus, and things aren't going the best.
My business skills have become strong over the years, I created a new business in January, and using 10 thousand dollars it's already generating 2 thousand net profit a week. Once upon a time that would amaze me, and I would run to my friends, and family to tell them about it. Now I just sit here, nobody who would even care to know, or wouldn't get jealous about it.
I watched my closest family steal from my warehouse, I watched as I pretended to have no car, no ability to get a car, no food... I literally watched my mom say that sucks, and brag about her new car.
Last week I changed the name on the trust I had set up for her in case I ever passed away. She was going to get $1200 per week, until she passed away. I changed it to zero because if she can ignore my in my time of need I have no need to worry about her when I am gone. I've been fighting this C19, and she hasn't offered to bring me any gatorade, water bottles, food etc. help that I actually could use, luckily we have services now that can show up with that sort of thing.
I don't know when I'll walk away from this world, but the world has let me down. I see the love, the unconditional love that so many people get regardless of what they do, and that is not a love I was afforded. I really can't blame the world, I don't have that type of magnetic personality, I'm constantly depressed, it's only gotten worse in the past 7-8 years.
My grandma was my heart, I believe she loved me as much as she was capable of only second to Nick. When she died she left me all her cleaning money that she had saved over the years, Man I wish I still had those bills there were so many old bills in there. I had to spend it at that time, it pushed my business like a rocket in the heart of Q4, I went from making 2 thousand a month to 40 thousand. She was rough around the edges at times, and I used to dislike that, but now more than ever I understand how she got that way.
I'm a man with 9 Siblings, but I have 0 relationship with any of them. Nothing ever happened to cause this, no big blow outs, no fights, just I don't have a place in their lives.
I could go on forever, and talk about all the former relationships that are gone, but there is no point. There really isn't a point to anything, what are we even here for? such a common question, but remains unanswered.
Pretending to go broke was the absolute greatest thing I ever did. I watch as my friends who seemed so interested in me faded away. I had a friend sit in my living room months ago and tell me I don't like to work hard, my business was a get rich quick scheme lol. He has no idea that even if he has a million in the bank I have 50 times that and growing, but I let him say these things because they show me the truth about how he sees me.
Money doesn't matter once you have enough to enjoy the basics. The simple things that people in third world countries wish for every day. I watched the book of Eli, and something stuck out to me Denzel said something like "We used to throw things away, we would kill each other for now". It made me realize that the never ending desire to get what's next is what is killing this world. Our greed has us living better than any king used to yet telling ourselves we have nothing. We ignore the rest of the world who live on nothing because it's easier than realizing we should do something to help them.
At the end of the day, what was the point in any of this? Why did we learn so much only to ignore it? Why does it seem that so many people are sheep with tunnel vision? What's the truth? Everything that used to make sense seems questionable now.
